An advertising executive dreamed he died and stood at the pearly gates. In his dream, Peter asked, "Make a choice: heaven or to hell?"  "Show me my options," the exec said. "Let's see hell."  Up popped a giant screen displaying girls in bikinis and well-built guys playing volleyball on the beach.

Imagine I’m holding a piece of paper with printing on both sides.  I tear off a corner containing only one word: “doctor,” and hand it to you. Think you can guess what’s on the rest of the document? No way.

Please stay with me. I love my children and grandchildren. I love them when they get good grades, when they work hard, and when they’re respectful. But when they don’t perform well, then I quit loving them. My love for my kids and grands is totally conditional, based on their performance. Of course NONE OF THIS IS TRUE!

We’ve all heard of shotgun weddings, but how about a “shotgun reception?” In Tampa, Florida a couple recited their vows in an intimate ceremony, joined by thirty guests. From all appearances, their marriage was off to a flourishing start. No one knows what went wrong, but during the reception, the bride heaved a plate of macaroni salad in the groom’s face. Not to be outdone,

My oldest grandson who was eight, was staying overnight with us. As we were preparing for school, tragedy struck. We didn’t have his favorite shoes. He refused to wear the shoes we had for him, and complained the entire way to school.

In Bolivia, an eight-year-old boy provoked a black widow spider into biting him, hoping it’s venom would turn him into the Marvel Comics superhero, Spiderman. Unlike the fictional character, rather than furnishing him with superpowers to swing through the air