FEASTING OR DUMPSTER-DIVING?

Anyone hungry? How about trying a cotton candy burrito: consisting of Fruity Pebbles, Fruit Loops, marshmallows, Skittles, Mini M & M’s gummy bears and sprinkles, all wrapped in a cotton candy shell.

Doesn’t tempt your taste buds? Then try chomping down on a pizza burger: a sixteen-ounce Angus patty, with two pepperoni pizzas for buns. Or indulge in a smoked turkey leg, stuffed with dirty rice, covered in Cajun gravy and green onions. Two words: Alka Seltzer.

These menu items are actually served at NFL stadiums. With the football season “kicking off” last week, perhaps we can indulge our appetites in these delicacies, although my culinary desires are much more basic.

Barney CargileSeptember 13, 2024 Comments

DANCING WITH HIPPIES

I was sitting home—lonely, bored, and melancholy—watching reruns of Gilligan's Island. My girlfriend had dumped me, and my friends were busy. I learned of a rock festival in downtown Seattle, so I took a chance and drove in. I positioned myself on a grassy knoll near the stage.

In front of me a group of hippies were dancing in a circle, arms locked together. They invited me to join them, and I stepped forward, merging into the circle. After a few moments,

Barney CargileSeptember 6, 2024Comment

A NEW IDENTITY

Some of us are “blessed” in life with being known by our middle name. My full name is Olin Barney Cargile III. I still recall the first day of school when my teacher called me “Olin.” I looked around to see who she was talking to. Going by my middle name doesn’t complicate my life at all … except with the IRS, DMV, all government offices, credit card companies, the bank… Okay, you get the picture.

Barney CargileAugust 30, 2024 Comments

COOTIE INSPECTORS

Every Monday morning the fourth-grade boys gathered in the back of the classroom. We made fists, extended the middle knuckle, and took turns hitting each other on the arm. We were distributing cootie vaccinations as an act of self-preservation.

We were convinced girls had cooties, although we had no clue as to what cooties were. The knuckle sandwich on our biceps left a slight bruise, guaranteeing us safety on the playground, should we inadvertently bump into a young female cootie-carrier.

This reminds me of the Pharisees in the New Testament. They often clashed with Jesus for associating with “sinners.” In Luke 5:30 they asked, “Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?” (See also Luke 7:39; 15:1-2). The Pharisees saw themselves as better than others, going to extreme degrees to follow the 613 laws in the Pentateuch, even creating additional laws for others to follow. In the process, these pompous legalists “neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness” (Matthew 23:23).

Barney CargileAugust 23, 2024